Contractual Articles of the Welders' Union, Local 42

Article 1: The Right to Sarcasm

Section 1.1: All welders have the right to make snarky comments about their coworkers' work.

Section 1.2: Management reserves the right to ignore said comments, while still paying them minimum wage.

Article 2: The Right to Safety

Section 2.1: All welders shall wear safety gear at all times, unless they're on a deadline, in which case they may wear a pair of goggles.

Section 2.2: Safety gear is not a substitute for good luck, but it's a nice bonus.

Section 2.3: Management shall provide a free lunch of nachos to any welder who completes a task without losing a finger.

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Note: The union reserves the right to interpret this article any way we want, because we can.